Her Secret -- Why Are We Afraid of Getting Old?

From Associated Content by Cynthia Smith

Why Are We Afraid of Getting Old?
Are We Just Afraid to Die?

When I was a young lass of 20-something, I remember thinking of 30 as so old. Now, I find myself labeling a 60 year old as a youngish man. My reasoning is that if 60 is young, then I am a baby.

What makes us so afraid of getting old? Is it really all about fear of wrinkles, or is it because every day we step closer and closer to the grave? Because of the society we live in, women seem to have an even greater fear of getting old. Unfortunately, in many circumstances, our womanhood and even worth is measured by how young and unlined we are. Women who are middle-aged or older are not seen as attractive. I remember someone criticizing Madonna for wearing a body suit in her "Hung Up" video. Even though the woman has a body that is better than many twenty year olds, she is chastised as being too old to wear a body suit. Is it any wonder we are afraid of getting old?

Sigmund Freud has a "death wish" theory. He believed that the natural state of objects is to be inanimate and that life is an aberration. For this reason, he concluded, every animate object longs to return to its inanimate state. That state is death. According to Sigmund Freud, there exist two conflicting forces in a being. Part of it wants to die and part of it wants to live. This causes tension. Now, I know that most individuals have no conscious wish to die, but maybe deep down we are aware of the death wish and we struggle against it. We are afraid of getting old because we are afraid of our death wish becoming a reality.

The whole beauty industry is about combating our fear of getting old? We lather our faces with lotions and creams that boast of skin regenerating properties. We bathe our faces in retinol even though it makes some of us break out horribly. We go to the dentist and whiten our teeth not only for cosmetic reasons, but because we are told it will make us look young. The more daring of us go under the knife and have plastic surgeons sculpt us new noses and lift our sagging cheeks upwards. We insert nice perky breasts and inject our lips and foreheads with Botox. Why? Because we are afraid of getting old.

How do we stop being afraid of getting old? How do we accept our wrinkles and cellulite as badges of honor? Do we let ourselves go? Do we go "gently into the night" as Dylan Thomas wrote? We do not need to give up on life to accept ourselves. The trick is to see ourselves as beautiful no matter how old we are. We should live our lives fully until the day when it's time to return to the dust. Only when we are ready and only then should we let go of this life. In fact, if we live full lives when it is time to die, there will be no struggle. There will only be anticipation of much needed rest.